Earlier today I wrote about a situation that happened with my son yesterday and it goes a little something like this..
To anyone who is in a growth mindset, I’d highly recommend “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. It’s a short book but so thought provoking.
Last night my son and I had a little disagreement and we’ve been working on emotion regulation. I was cutting grass, saw a snake which scares the S*&T out of me and then he goes inside to turn on the back light for me and tosses his football somewhere in the yard. In his 10yr old macho man demeanor and voice, he was like, “what did you do with my football, I know you hid it”? and I’m still tripping about cutting around this snake, amongst other life shiz that is going on. Needless to say, I did not regulate my emotions very well and ya!
After I got done, we sat down and I told him, it triggers me when people accuse of me things because I have been accused of a lot in my life that I did not do and always felt I had to defend myself. Some of you who have lived or worked with me have seen this trigger set and it’s not pretty! I apologized for my reaction because it is not his fault of how others have made me feel.
The thing is, trying to teach my kids (I’ve raised a few) is a learning opportunity for me. They’ve taught me more in 5 yrs about where I am emotionally than I had figured out in my entire lifetime. We’ve been so conditioned to believe certain things and behaviors are normal but why? My son still struggles with dexterity and often times eats with his hands because it’s easier and it hit me the other day that I really don’t care that he does that, everyone else cares that he does so I try to please them and tell my kid not to do that. He eats half meals and comes back and grazes all night, again, who cares? WHY does it matter? I’ve always been that but why kid, just because we’ve always done it that way doesn’t mean we have to keep doing it that way.
Break the cycle, be the change agent, be brave, be bold, ask why and get yelled at, if nothing else, you make them think.
I’m all for breaking the curses folks. Some curses or better yet habits are passed down from generation to generation and without noticing your spreading that poison all around.
Here are some items that come to mind. Some observations I have made in myself and others.
Alcoholism, escapism, drug addiction, insulting your loved ones in the name of fun, gossiping, lying, cheating, gluttony, sexual addition, sexual abuse, putting hands on your loved ones, creating chaos for fun or power, racism, sexism, overspending, blaming others for your choices, lack of accountability, fear, scarcity mindset, that’s just how I am, and genetics.
For the love of GOD, please stop talking to children or anyone for that matter about their weight, how they look, giving them nicknames calling them fat, chubby, skinny, ugly, etc, you get my drift! It’s not cool, it’s hurtful and life damaging. In my personal experience, the more people criticized me the more I ate to console myself, yes, it was self-sabotage, but it is how I felt in control of what was out of my control.
Try not to take things so dang personal and understand people change if and when they want to and you either love them for who they are, or you don’t. It’s really that simple! Also, stop putting your own insecurities on people who don’t have the capacity to defend themselves. That’s coward shit!
Here is praying for growth all around and may your life be filled with abundance today and always!
jenniev
Words with jenniev 